life's speed limit

Does life have a speed limit? Who gets to decide just what that limit is? Are there 'police' who can ticket you for going too fast or too slow? Should there be safety rules?

I reckon you could consider general health a good indicator of what a speed limit should be. In that case, your body would be it's own police... if you are going too fast, and you are physically compromised... then something will crash... a heart attack, for example. I suppose the safety rules, in this case, would be kinda like common sense... eat right, exercise, etc, etc, etc.

But what I'm talking about, I suppose, is more of an emotional speed limit. Ever have one of those days / weeks / months / LIVES, where you feel like you are just full throttle all the time? I mean, top speed, never slowing down, just going, going, going?

This, for me, translates to giving, giving, giving... to everyone around me. (I have to offer my disclaimer at this point... to all of those close to me who read this: Please, please do NOT read this to say that you are sucking the ever lovin' life out of me... YOU *aren't*... and you'll get it, in the end... I promise :) )

It's like life is sucking the life out of me. Constantly demanding that I give to everyone and everything around me, with or without my choosing.

A few things to clarify... 1) my kids - I would, without question, lay my life down for my children. I *never* feel like they are a burden to me. That's not to say that they aren't demanding... they absolutely are! They do suck the life out of me... but understand, that it is life that I happily give... rather enjoy having it sucked from me ;) 2) my husband - the true light of my life. My true love (insert cheesy moment here). I adore him, cherish him and love him with all I am. I quite happily give everything I possibly can to him, never feeling as if it's a burden... quite the opposite... giving to him keeps me going some days. I was just telling him, last night, that this is quite unusual for me, actually *enjoying* my mate's company after being with him for any length of time... at this point, in my previous long-terms, I've, to put it bluntly, grown weary of my 'significant's' company. Not the case at all with him. And that makes me happy :) 3) my family - pretty simple here... generally speaking, we just don't do that to each other. We happily give and take without resentment or misgivings. We're just there for each other... and that's understood.

Back to life... I suppose it's hard to explain. Life. The ins and outs of everyday stuff... just sucking the life outta ya. I, much to my dismay, tend to devote way too much energy to things that really don't deserve that amount of attention. I don't really understand it. Sometimes, I even do it at the expense of either #1, 2, or 3 above. How backwards is that? Slowly, I'm learning how to truly put things into perspective and to no longer be the doormat for certain people to wipe their feet on... a position I, at one point in my life, just unconsciously assumed... over and over again. Maybe it became expected? Maybe it just became auto-pilot for me? Who knows... and does it really matter?

So, what in the world does this have to do with a speed limit for ... what? What in the hell was the title of this post, anyway??? Jeez, Mrs. Rambler... go off on tangents, much? Helloooooo... remember us.... we're the ones who so graciously stepped into your little corner of the web to have a peek at your blog... yoo-hoo!!! We're beginning to wonder whyyyy-yyyyy?!?!?!??!

Ok... so, you feel like you just keep going, non-stop... giving all along the way. Going... never-stopping. I fall into bed... every ounce of my body hurting (related to previous 'pain management' post). Literally crashing, night after night. Sometimes, having to be awoken by my 8 year-old in the morning, because I either, forgot to set the alarm, or just turned it off and went back to sleep. Maybe I, in someway, thought I could just 'skip' that particular day... wouldn't that be nice? If you could see a tough day coming and just hang a "Do Not Disturb" sign on your life for that particular day. My problem is, the people who would *need* to read that sign, would just ignore it and walk right on in.

Ok, so apparently no real point to this post... but for some strange reason... I feel just a little bit better.

Tomorrow should certainly be easier... and, hopefully, hang steady for a few afterwards :)

Mic's first kiss

He's my only boy. The other two are (obviously) girls. I suppose every mother, in a way, dreads the day her boy comes home with his first girlfriend (or boyfriend, whatever the case may be). I still get to enjoy those big baby blues looking up at me at bedtime, announcing, "Mommy, when I grow up, I'm going to marry YOU!" Never mind all the reasons that will never happen, I cherish each and every time he tells me that.

Today, my boy had his first kiss. :: sniff :: :: sniff :: I wasn't quite ready for it... I had no time to prepare myself, no inclination whatsoever that this was coming... It just happened, out of the blue... and luckily, there was a camera around, so we could capture this 'rite of passage' for my son...







:: sigh :: Thank goodness that's out of the way!

somebody do the freakin' dishes!

Ok, so we had the party on Saturday. Which means Friday night and Saturday morning were spent in a hurried frenzy of cleaning. Now, we're not dirty people, but we're busy people. Three young kids, two of 'em in school, The Diva comfortably on her throne at home (for the time being). I work full-time outside of the home, Steve works full-time as The Diva's caretaker and the School Dad, not to mention the kazillion other irons he has in the fire. So, housework falls below life and just slightly above poking our eyes out with a soldering iron on our list of things to do. Don't get me wrong, we always have clean clothes to wear and the amount of mold in the toilet at any given time has yet to approach 'the cure for cancer' level... although, we've gotten scarily close!

So, yesterday was spent with our feet up, kids in and out of the pool... doing absolutely nothing... zip, zilch, nada!!! We just relaxed and had fun... Mic got a tattoo making sword thingy for his birthday, so by bath-time, the kids were covered in various pirate ship, skull and other pirate related tattoos. The kids requested a 'family movie night', so we copped and let them watch Beethoven's 4th (I had *no* idea they made a fourth one... it's actually kinda cute... kind of a Beethoven meets Freaky Friday). Popcorn and chocolate were the 'treats du jour'... they got to stay up late since we didn't have school today. KFC was the dinner menu... I'm tellin' ya... we didn't do a darn thing yesterday!!!

Today, however, someone simply MUST get off their ass and wash the dishes. The sink is piled so high, I have to rearrange just to fill the coffee pot. Steve and I sat down for a bowl of cereal just a few minutes ago. He said he had to wash a spoon just to be able to eat... I, on the other hand, used Nat's Gerber baby spoon (you know, the one with her name on it... c'mon... all you Mommies know you did it, too!)... because I couldn't even *get* to the sink, let alone wash a spoon (not really sure how he managed). I was going to take a picture to post here just to show you how awful it is, but thought better of it when I realized that that would be a really stupid thing to do... why in the world would I even consider doing a thing like that????

The upside????

..

our Saturday

Whew! Am I tired! Busy weekend, and it's only half over!!!

Just to update... the tragedy that was Mic's Friday... He came home unscathed! Apparently, he avoided a visit to the Principal's office... can you imagine his disappointment?? His consequence for hitting that kid was to miss out on the picnic in the park, and since the in school-suspension program happened to be full on Friday, he had to spend the time with one of the pre-kindergarten classes. I would imagine this sentence probably seemed worse than ISI to him... pre-k!?!?! egads!!! It turned out to be not so bad, tho... the class he had to go to turned out to be the teacher we have selected for Nat (our 4-year-old) to be in next year. So, she either was pleased to start meeting members of our family, or began to dread having any of his siblings in class... he was in there, after all, as a punishment. I think it will all work out for the best... my husband and I have both met and chatted with this teacher, and feel quite confident that all will work out just fine :) (and anyway, Mic said he got to play games and watch movies with the pre-k-ers, so even he came home with a smile on his face!)

So, we got the dreaded Friday out of the way... I did, however, take the opportunity to show him that the anticipation of the event is sometimes way worse than the actual happening. Whether or not he got that life lesson is yet to be seen, but I did my Mommy duty, nonetheless!!

Yesterday, we had Mic's birthday party. I won't go into the gory details... but it was a hit!! This was the first time since his Dad and I have been separated, about 3 years, that we have been able to have a party that included both sides of Mic's families in one place, to celebrate for the kids (the first time because, the grown-ups can't behave any better, sometimes much worse, than the kids... but I'll save that for a later vent). We had 40 or so people all in one place, just for him.

I've mentioned before what a great kid Mic is... and yesterday was no exception. He continues to amaze me with his kindness and gentle ways. The kid is only 6, right? As he was opening presents, he would take the time to read the card first... I mean actually *read* the card... not just rip open the envelope to have a peek so he could see who the gift was from... he would read the entire card... you could see his little lips moving as he was getting through it. All this, while he had a mass of other children around him trying to get him just to rip open the package. He didn't... slowly and methodically, he'd pass me the card, tell me who it was from, then turn his attention to the present. He didn't just rush through the gift, either... if he had a bag with several items in it, he would take each one out individually, look it over, tell me what it was, then hand it to me before moving on to the next thing in the bag. Amazed me!!! Handed me bits of paper and trash along the way... most kids would just dig themselves out from under a pile of ripped up wrapping paper and tissue and bags when the 'present opening ceremony' was finally over... not him :) Later on, in the evening, he sought me out, just to tell me, "Mom, I've really had a great party!"

And he was right... I'm pretty sure a great time was had by all!!! Steve and I got the opportunity to visit with some friends we just haven't had the time to sit down and spend time with lately. We had a Jupiter Jump and the swimming pool, of course, so all of the kids always had something to do... which left little chunks of time for the adults to sit around and chat. It was great!!!

We eventually broke out the karaoke when things started to settle down, and didn't shut it down until the last bunch left around 11:00 (the party started at noon!). Nat crashed on the couch around 10:00... bless her heart, she just couldn't do it for one more second... she tried... oh, how she tried... but she just couldn't.

If you had asked me yesterday, at say, oh... 11:00 a.m., how I thought the party would go... I honestly wouldn't have been able to speculate. As I mentioned, this is the first time in a while, that my family have been in the company of my ex-in-laws. Lets just say there has been a bit of tension, for various reasons, and it'd have been anyone's guess how everyone would have behaved. I honestly had no worries about my family... we've talked, we're close, and to put it bluntly, they know how to behave themselves. But, the ex and his family... well, there is some pretty strong resentment held by some... resentment of lots of things and for lots of reasons... mostly, only known by them. I guess it's never easy, is it?

To sum it up... all went well... for Mic. And that's exactly the way it should be. It was, after all, all about him.

bless his heart

I've talked a bit about my son, Mic. As I've said before, he has the gentlest spirit, the kindest heart and is just an all around 'good kid'. Bragging: he was reading when he was only four years old... and I mean *reading*... at four... not 'almost five'... he was only four. He has a special kind of wit about him... a wit uncommon to most kindergartners I have known. He has this way of just coming up with stuff that leaves us scratching our heads and saying, "He did *not* just say that!". To put it simply, he's just enjoyable.

Mic is a boy. My only boy. And he has the tendency to be a boy... ornery and mischievous. Sometimes, this gets him into trouble, both at home and at school. Home is easy... he does something he shouldn't, as all kids are bound to, we deal with it, try to teach a lesson or two, and move on. School is a little different, however. We have no control over the consequences he must face when he gets in trouble at school. Mic is having a hard time understanding that.

He got in trouble today, at the end of the day. So, this behavior will have to be addressed tomorrow. I should say here, that he has a wonderful teacher... she's, as she says, 'got his number'... and we totally support the way she handles our son. Communication is great with the school, from the principal to the aide in the classroom. Absolutely no complaints. So, he will have to pay a visit to the Principal's office tomorrow.

Uh-oh. He's not taking that too well. I talked with him about consequences and actions and choices. We always try to give our kids choices. We try to guide them to make the right choices, at the same time, realizing that they will mess up... that's their job... and it's our job to teach them. So, I talked with him about making choices that aren't so wise and having to take the consequence, that the consequence for today's incident will be decided by his principal. At this point, Mic seems to think that I have some sort of say in the matter, begging me to give him 'one more chance'.

Here's where it gets tough... I'm a self-proclaimed "softy" when it comes to my son. I admit it... and I'm not ashamed. With tears streaming down his little terrified face, he tells me, in between sobs, that he "can't be a strong boy tomorrow. I don't want to take my 'sequence' " (by the way... this was just off the 'cute factor' scale - he was trying to sound so grown-up, saying 'consequence'). Oh, no... heart... breaking... can't... take... it... somebody... make... him... stop!

So, I stress to him that this is happening because of the bad choice he made today, that he actually doesn't have a choice tomorrow. He must go to the principal and face the music. He is absolutely crumbling. Then... he did it... curls up into the fetal position... still crying... and he says, "I'm so stupid!" "No, Mic, *you* are not stupid... what you did wasn't very smart, though" He should have come with a warning label... *WILL MAKE YOUR HEART MELT WHEN SAD* He's that good, I tell ya!

So, he fell asleep sobbing (more heart-breaking)... after telling me that he just doesn't want to go to school at all tomorrow.

His birthday party is Saturday. I tried to tell him to just get through tomorrow, take whatever he must... be strong... then, when tomorrow is over, he has Saturday to look forward to. He didn't buy it.

So, if ya think about it... say a prayer, send a vibe, chant a mantra... whatever your flavor, if this post pops into your head at anytime during the day Friday. Cross your fingers that he (and I, for that matter!) gets through it unscathed.

Good Morning

I love my mornings. I sit, right now, on my patio, with my hot cup of coffee, listening to the wind chimes just enjoying this brief period to myself.

I purposely get up a little bit early just so I'll have this bit of time to myself. Before I have to get the rugrats up to start their day. Two of my three little darlings have already appeared, but I managed to give them each a cat and send them back to bed so I can get my last half hour of peace.

In a few minutes, it'll all be over. The hustle and bustle of the morning will begin. Yelling at someone, "Where's my blue shirt???"... "Mom, I forgot to tell you that my teacher needs 30 cupcakes baked and ready to go by 9:00" (ok, that's was an exaggeration... that actual scenario has never happened, but all you Mommies -and Daddies- know exactly what I mean). The scurrying around to get hair just perfect and teeth brushed and clothes neatly on.

So, off I go, to finish putting myself together before I begin an even better task of being the Mom.

Have a great day!

Happy Birthday, Son!

Today is Mic's birthday. Today, he turns six years old. I watch everyday, in amazement, this little boy become a man. I always tell people that he has the kindest spirit... and that makes me proud. He has his true *boy* moments, which make him all the more interesting, but through it all, he remains gentle, and true to himself.

Six years ago today, my little man made his appearance. And ever since then, the world has been a better place :)

Happy Birthday, Son!





WE LOVE YOU!!!!