April 28, 2007

Since we're on the subject...

of vents... shall I continue? (If you answered 'yes' or 'go ahead' or 'sure', or anything in the affirmative, let me offer this disclaimer now... you *will* probably live to regret that!!!)

Where shall I start? So many vents... blah, blah, blah. I feel I must mention here, that overall, I am a very happy person. At this point in my life, physical issues excepted, I could not ask for more wonderful people / things to be a part of *me*. However, we all, happy or not, have a few things we could bitch about at any given moment...

McDonald's - How freakin' hard is it to serve your food 'hot -n- fresh' as you claim? When my husband has to drive *back* to the restaurant because the bag-o'-food I got from you contained cold, yes *cold*... nowhere near *hot*, not *warm*, not even room temperature... C-O-L-D... summin's wrong!!! And no, we don't live across town from the local Mickey D's... in fact, it's about 3 minutes away, 4 if you get caught at the one stoplight between here and there. I must interject here that I just love his ever-so-polite way of handling situations like this. I always tell him that he has a way of telling people exactly where to get off that leaves them thanking him, not ever knowing what happened. So, get with it, Ronald!!! Those heat lamps aren't for fakin' bakin'!!!! (for those of you who don't get that last bit... that's what a couple of my southern gal friends call the act of tanning in a bed / booth)

Driving - for heaven's sake! I'm not really sure why states even make you take a driving test. One of two things are happening after the license seeker pulls back into the DOT parking lot to drop the examiner off after 'passing' the driving test. Either, the examiner couldn't care less about his responsibility to human kind, to ensure that everyone behind the wheel of a vehicle actually knows how to operate and maneuver the automobile, OR the dumbass examinee completely spaces everything he / she just completed in the 4 minutes that was his / her driving test and has decided that the Duke boys actually knew what they were doing while running from Rosco. The word of the day, whenever I'm on the road is OBLIVIOUS. That's exactly what people become when they get behind the wheel of a vehicle. Oblivious to the world around them, and consumed by the thought that they actually *are* the only one on the road. Either that, or he is simply doing us a favor by sharing *his* systems of roads and highways and by golly, we damn sure better show our appreciation by getting out of his way! This translates to defensive driving for those of us who actually give a shit whether we make it to our destination or not, because heaven forbid we should assume that the spot in the road we are occupying at that very moment might actually be ours... don't let that 2000 pound heap of metal intimidate you, Mr. I'd Rather Talk On My Cell Phone While Eating Breakfast And Smoking And Adjusting The Radio And Creating The Agenda For The 8:30 Meeting I'm Late For And Beating My Children Senseless Because It's Their Damn Fault I'm Late In The First Place Since I Have To Take Them To Daycare And I Was In Too Much Of A Hurry To Actually Secure Them Properly So They Are Jumping All Around In The Backseat So I Can't See Out Of My Windows Or Mirrors And I Probably Should Tie My Shoes Before The Light Changes Green (man! I'm discovering several more rants I never even knew about!!! I digress...) And Lines, What Lines? They Don't Apply To Me Since You Had The Nerve To Honk At Me, So I'm Going To Make An Ass Out Of Myself By Hanging My Fist Out Of One Window While Flipping You Off Out Of The Other Window All The While Swerving Into Oncoming Traffic And It's All Your Fault!!!!! whew... I'm a bit tired after all that...

And don't get me started on the stupid lady who, I can only guess, is terrified of the on-ramp to the BA at Garnett. She takes this ramp at, I'm not kidding you, 20 mph! Now, for those of you not familiar with 'the BA', picture a bass-ack-ward Oklahoma's version of The Autobahn (yes, kids, Okies really *do* drive cars!). You just *do* NOT take this ramp at even 50 mph, let alone 20!!! And this lu-lu is ever-so timely, because I've ended up directly behind her on several occasions (do what I do, lady... once, just once, forget to set your alarm, please? Nothing like popping awake an hour late to get your ass in gear!!!). The second time I was tortured with the prospect of my untimely death attempting to merge at a mere 20 mph, when I laid on my horn at her, she actually had the nerve to honk back!!! I mean, does she actually think that we are all just flying around her for our health???? Gimme a break. psst, lady, there *are* other routes... Garnett goes through!!!

Ok, so that was only two, but I'm tuckered out. And right now, I'm going to sit down with my husband and enjoy a nice cup of coffee. He's building a picnic table at the moment and I'm quite enjoying watching him.

I'm sure I'll have more later...

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