June 2, 2007
a true lesson in researching before you post...
About my "farting gene" post... sheesh... I thought we women stuck together!!! How wrong I was!!!
Blogging over time
My most recent two posts, about farting and politics, were written over a period of time. Meaning, that I didn't just sit down and get it out in one blogging session. For whatever reason, either the kids were up to no good and needed adult intervention or the cats were ripping some poor reptile's appendages off in the bathroom, it just took me a while to get them done.
I'm not happy with them, either. When they both started out, trust me, they were way better in my head than how they came out.
I've just told my dear hubby that the next time I start out posting and don't finish it soon after starting to stop me. Yeah, sure... he'll get right on that!
I'm not happy with them, either. When they both started out, trust me, they were way better in my head than how they came out.
I've just told my dear hubby that the next time I start out posting and don't finish it soon after starting to stop me. Yeah, sure... he'll get right on that!
the fart 'gene'
In my 35, nearly 36, years of existence, I have come to the conclusion that the scientists got it all wrong. Genetically speaking, the 'x' and 'y' chromosomes are not what make the difference between males and females... it is, to put it simply, the "Fart Gene".
Men have it, women don't. Plain and simple. Quite frankly, I could end this post right here... enough said... but, I'll take a moment to elaborate, shall I?
It's just innate, that men are more fascinated with their own flatulance, way more than women are. Unless you've been locked in a biodome, strictly inhabited by females your entire life, you've witnessed it. Everybody has. And it starts early. I'll wager a guess that not much research has actually been documented, so we'll just assume that it rears it's ugly head sometime in the early childhood stage of development.
There is a whole range of 'fart facination' out there... and I've lived with both extremes, but let me tell you... all men have it. It is probably relevant here to mention that there aren't many people out there who haven't experienced this phenomenon with my ex-husband around. Anyone who met him, with the exception of my parents, saw it. That alone would have been grounds for the divorce! Current hubby, I have to admit, is rather more polite about it, at least with other people. But, believe me when I tell you that that prim and proper accent is just a smokescreen!!! He farts, people!!! And he can be incredibly 'manly' about it, as well!!! (I'm probably sleepin' on the couch tonight for that, but it's worth it!! Right????)
I've resigned myself that my son will not be able to escape it. As much as I try to raise him to be a polite little chap, he already has the ability to fart on demand. And he does. Much to my dismay. I suppose, at this point, I can only try to teach him when it is appropriate to share that talent and when it isn't.
So, I plead with the biologists and geneticists out there... for the love of Pete (whoever the hell he is)... please, please find a way to isolate that buggar and rid us of it at once!!!!!
Men have it, women don't. Plain and simple. Quite frankly, I could end this post right here... enough said... but, I'll take a moment to elaborate, shall I?
It's just innate, that men are more fascinated with their own flatulance, way more than women are. Unless you've been locked in a biodome, strictly inhabited by females your entire life, you've witnessed it. Everybody has. And it starts early. I'll wager a guess that not much research has actually been documented, so we'll just assume that it rears it's ugly head sometime in the early childhood stage of development.
There is a whole range of 'fart facination' out there... and I've lived with both extremes, but let me tell you... all men have it. It is probably relevant here to mention that there aren't many people out there who haven't experienced this phenomenon with my ex-husband around. Anyone who met him, with the exception of my parents, saw it. That alone would have been grounds for the divorce! Current hubby, I have to admit, is rather more polite about it, at least with other people. But, believe me when I tell you that that prim and proper accent is just a smokescreen!!! He farts, people!!! And he can be incredibly 'manly' about it, as well!!! (I'm probably sleepin' on the couch tonight for that, but it's worth it!! Right????)
I've resigned myself that my son will not be able to escape it. As much as I try to raise him to be a polite little chap, he already has the ability to fart on demand. And he does. Much to my dismay. I suppose, at this point, I can only try to teach him when it is appropriate to share that talent and when it isn't.
So, I plead with the biologists and geneticists out there... for the love of Pete (whoever the hell he is)... please, please find a way to isolate that buggar and rid us of it at once!!!!!
Politics (this one's gonna be long...)
Alan Jackson sings a song called "Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning". Catchy enough. It's about 9/11 and asks the question all of us will undoubtedly remember. For the record, I was sitting in my living room with my almost three-year-old and my four-month-old. I was just sitting down after breakfast to turn on "Blue's Clues" for Mac when I thought I'd pop over to NBC just to see what Katie was up to for the day. Just in time to watch the second plane, live.
I mention this song, because part of the chorus says "I'm just a singer of simple songs, I'm not a real political man, I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you, The difference in Iraq and Iran". I'm not a singer, certainly not of simple songs... my husband, the K.J. can attest to that... he often mentions something about howling and glass shattering... I'm definitely not what I would consider 'political' (I'll get into this a bit more - it's kinda the purpose of this post). Don't watch CNN much, as I pretty much stick to the local CBS station where I daily watch, or at least listen to, the local news, and I try, daily as well, to stay informed of national and international goings-ons. Sometimes, this is done via my highly informed, news-addicted husband, and sometimes, I actually get to watch the CBS Evening News (with Katie Couric... my girl!).
As a teacher, one of my main goals with my students is to help foster independent thinking. As a Special Education teacher, this can sometimes prove to be extremely challenging, especially considering that I mainly teach teenagers with emotional disturbances (one might argue, correctly, that simply *being* a teenager is an emotional disturbance in and of itself, but I'm talking above and way beyond the normal *weird* stuff that makes them teenagers). I try to instill in them, they would probably say I preach it, a desire to gather information from several sources. I encourage them to go out and find sources that they feel they can trust... do their research and probe and poke until you find trustworthy sources. Then, take all the information they have available to them and make their own decisions, draw their own conclusions. Sometimes, I feel like I've had a break-through or two, sometimes, I honestly feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. Either way, I come home at the end of the day at least feeling like I did my best.
But, this isn't about my career choice, it's about politics. (ADHD much?) I've been working on this post for almost a week now... life just gets in the way. So, I'm gonna wrap it up *now*... I'm just gonna spew it and offer apologies later.
My husband is very much a political person. We have a balance that works for us... we both allow each other the space and support to think and believe what we will. We don't always agree and certainly aren't necessarily passionate about the same things. However, politically speaking, I've learned a lot from him in the (almost) three short years I've known him... and happily hope to spend a lifetime educating each other about the things that matter to each of us.
So, politics... I've never much looked past my little hole in the world... suburbia Oklahoma (is that even a phrase??), loosely translated... rednecked. Don't get me wrong... I'd say that I had a wonderful upbringing with parents who I always *knew* loved me, unconditionally. I was raised with discipline coupled with the freedoms necessary to make me who I am today. I always questioned what was fed me, intellectually. Didn't necessarily voice my wonderings, but they were there. I think I turned out ok... I'd venture to say others would agree, others, not so much.
Like most people around me, I grew up thinking that America was just the be all that ends all (or however that goes). We have all these freedoms and inalienable rights granted us by The Constitution. We are A-1 Superpower... others fear us... others want to *be* us. I couldn't have been more wrong. Take, for example, this war we are in. Now, I will sadly admit that I don't pay attention like I should, to the politics and policies that got us to where we are. But I do know this... we went to war because Saddam had WMDs, right? He didn't. We went to war with Iraq because *somebody else* flew planes into our buildings. How much sense does that make? Absolutely none. Again, even this self-proclaimed political 'dummy' can see that.
I never really thought much outside of my State, heck, didn't really think much outside my hometown, or my home, for that matter. When I was getting ready to go to Europe for the first time, Steve was surprised that I had made it to the age of 32 without ever having needed a passport. I didn't have the first clue how to go about getting one (in the end, it wasn't that difficult, thank goodness!). I explained to him that for us, international news is more like 'What's happening down in Texas?'. I suppose that has a lot to do with the sheer size of the States, but, never the less, I just didn't pay much attention to anything that went on outside of the 'border'.
I'd challenge those narrow-minded thinkers, just like I used to be, to take a gander... wander 'outside of your box' and have a peek at how others do it. Maybe, just maybe, we haven't gotten it all correct. It is just quite possible that someone else might actually have a better idea about doing things, like health care, than us.
I'll save my rant about health care for another day, but suffice it to say that America has really messed this one up. Quite frankly, I'm appalled at the way my country treats its sick... not to mention its children and elderly.
I say all of this to say this... I'm a registered Republican, that's just what I am. I vote. Every single time I can, I vote. I *never* vote straight-party... I vote my conscience. I have two rules about voting... 1) I ALWAYS do it, and 2) I NEVER tell anyone, not one single person, how or for who I vote. I do my research, consider my sources, think independently and vote. And I will always vote. I figure that's the only way I can continue to complain!!!
I mention this song, because part of the chorus says "I'm just a singer of simple songs, I'm not a real political man, I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you, The difference in Iraq and Iran". I'm not a singer, certainly not of simple songs... my husband, the K.J. can attest to that... he often mentions something about howling and glass shattering... I'm definitely not what I would consider 'political' (I'll get into this a bit more - it's kinda the purpose of this post). Don't watch CNN much, as I pretty much stick to the local CBS station where I daily watch, or at least listen to, the local news, and I try, daily as well, to stay informed of national and international goings-ons. Sometimes, this is done via my highly informed, news-addicted husband, and sometimes, I actually get to watch the CBS Evening News (with Katie Couric... my girl!).
As a teacher, one of my main goals with my students is to help foster independent thinking. As a Special Education teacher, this can sometimes prove to be extremely challenging, especially considering that I mainly teach teenagers with emotional disturbances (one might argue, correctly, that simply *being* a teenager is an emotional disturbance in and of itself, but I'm talking above and way beyond the normal *weird* stuff that makes them teenagers). I try to instill in them, they would probably say I preach it, a desire to gather information from several sources. I encourage them to go out and find sources that they feel they can trust... do their research and probe and poke until you find trustworthy sources. Then, take all the information they have available to them and make their own decisions, draw their own conclusions. Sometimes, I feel like I've had a break-through or two, sometimes, I honestly feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. Either way, I come home at the end of the day at least feeling like I did my best.
But, this isn't about my career choice, it's about politics. (ADHD much?) I've been working on this post for almost a week now... life just gets in the way. So, I'm gonna wrap it up *now*... I'm just gonna spew it and offer apologies later.
My husband is very much a political person. We have a balance that works for us... we both allow each other the space and support to think and believe what we will. We don't always agree and certainly aren't necessarily passionate about the same things. However, politically speaking, I've learned a lot from him in the (almost) three short years I've known him... and happily hope to spend a lifetime educating each other about the things that matter to each of us.
So, politics... I've never much looked past my little hole in the world... suburbia Oklahoma (is that even a phrase??), loosely translated... rednecked. Don't get me wrong... I'd say that I had a wonderful upbringing with parents who I always *knew* loved me, unconditionally. I was raised with discipline coupled with the freedoms necessary to make me who I am today. I always questioned what was fed me, intellectually. Didn't necessarily voice my wonderings, but they were there. I think I turned out ok... I'd venture to say others would agree, others, not so much.
Like most people around me, I grew up thinking that America was just the be all that ends all (or however that goes). We have all these freedoms and inalienable rights granted us by The Constitution. We are A-1 Superpower... others fear us... others want to *be* us. I couldn't have been more wrong. Take, for example, this war we are in. Now, I will sadly admit that I don't pay attention like I should, to the politics and policies that got us to where we are. But I do know this... we went to war because Saddam had WMDs, right? He didn't. We went to war with Iraq because *somebody else* flew planes into our buildings. How much sense does that make? Absolutely none. Again, even this self-proclaimed political 'dummy' can see that.
I never really thought much outside of my State, heck, didn't really think much outside my hometown, or my home, for that matter. When I was getting ready to go to Europe for the first time, Steve was surprised that I had made it to the age of 32 without ever having needed a passport. I didn't have the first clue how to go about getting one (in the end, it wasn't that difficult, thank goodness!). I explained to him that for us, international news is more like 'What's happening down in Texas?'. I suppose that has a lot to do with the sheer size of the States, but, never the less, I just didn't pay much attention to anything that went on outside of the 'border'.
I'd challenge those narrow-minded thinkers, just like I used to be, to take a gander... wander 'outside of your box' and have a peek at how others do it. Maybe, just maybe, we haven't gotten it all correct. It is just quite possible that someone else might actually have a better idea about doing things, like health care, than us.
I'll save my rant about health care for another day, but suffice it to say that America has really messed this one up. Quite frankly, I'm appalled at the way my country treats its sick... not to mention its children and elderly.
I say all of this to say this... I'm a registered Republican, that's just what I am. I vote. Every single time I can, I vote. I *never* vote straight-party... I vote my conscience. I have two rules about voting... 1) I ALWAYS do it, and 2) I NEVER tell anyone, not one single person, how or for who I vote. I do my research, consider my sources, think independently and vote. And I will always vote. I figure that's the only way I can continue to complain!!!
June 1, 2007
my husband is Ginormous
My husband is a Limey (I'm not). That means, just in case you don't know, that he is originally from England. Yep, immigrated all the way over here just for me (that story is another post entirely). As I've mentioned before, I absolutely adore him, and I can say the same for my in-laws. As I've joked before, I've finally gotten in-laws that I cherish and wouldn't ya know... they live on another freakin' continent!!!
Now, while we both speak the same language, English of course, we often joke that he actually speaks English, while I (and all of us 'Merikens) speak 'American'. Each day, I learn more and more just how true that statement is. He calls England and America "two countries separated by a common language". He will tell you that that was probably the most difficult thing in adjusting to a new life around these here parts. First of all, ya don't get many Brits in this fly-over-state, so when he has to say something, or ask for something, say at a store, he always has to say it twice, because the first time, they are only hearing the accent, not the actual words. Secondly, they only listen to the accent!!!!!
Now, this can come in pretty handy for him, we've come to learn, especially when requesting something from a female (or a 'light in his loafers' male). For example, he needed to request some medical records from his visit to the emergency room a couple of years ago. He asked me if I would call to get what he needed... I was busy pulling gum out of someone's hair or mud from ear canals or something else freakishly weird... so he had to do it himself. Now, I *know* how Medical Records departments work around here... had I called, I would have been told that he would have to come in, sign a release and pay a nominal fee to have said documents couriered to where ever it was they needed to go. Period... no ifs, ands or buts... He calls and some sweet Southern Belle, no doubt mesmerized by his 'sexy' accent proceeds to tell him that it'll be no problem... she'll get right on it... he didn't have to go in... didn't have to pay a dime... didn't even have to sit on hold. Done. The very next day, no less. Sheesh. Although, we've come to use this to our advantage and know when to toss that sexy accent around to get what we want!!!
Ok... so where was I going with this... today, as he was chatting to his oldest son on IM, he was told that 'Nanny said I need to talk to you'... uh-oh... you can read all about Steve's reaction here, but I'll go on with my version, anyway... Eldest son proceeds to tell him that Nanny (Steve's Mom, or Mum, as the Brits would say) thinks he has put on quite a bit of weight since he has been here (a little over two years now). Steve and I think this is quite funny, since we have both been keeping an eye on our ever decreasing waist lines recently (I'm down thirty pounds!!!). Steve, who is six foot tall, came to the States weighing in at 196 which wasn't heavy for him at all. He weighed in at a whopping 174 this morning, a weight he says he hasn't been at since he was about 30. Again... irony!!!
So, Steve phones his Mum a little while later to inquire as to the pudgy comments apparently directed at him from 5000 miles away. He can't get through the conversation before he hands the phone to me. I swear, she could barely stop laughing long enough to tell me that in the Christmas card we sent (it had the pic of all of us - the one on my blog) his face was looking quite round!!! At this point, I'm burst out in laughter, because one, it just sounds so adorable, this proper English woman giggling and telling me her son looks a bit round, and two, well, it was just funny!!!!! Through my laughter, I try to tell her that maybe it's just because he didn't have any hair (he decided to start having me shave him bald last summer - 112 degree temps will do that to a guy!!)... and I promise her that the shorts he bought during his first summer here can't even be held up with a belt these days. Then, through her screeching wails, she blurts out, "Yes, he was looking quite GINORMOUS!!!"
I have never in my life heard that word, ginormous, let alone applied to my husband, who's nickname is Twig. Needless to say, the laughter continued for several more minutes until I could finally compose my self, as did she, and let him resume the conversation with his Mum.
It was great to hear her voice :) I miss them... they are wonderful people. *And* what wonderful ammo and name-calling I've put in my back pocket when Steve starts misbehaving!!!
Now, while we both speak the same language, English of course, we often joke that he actually speaks English, while I (and all of us 'Merikens) speak 'American'. Each day, I learn more and more just how true that statement is. He calls England and America "two countries separated by a common language". He will tell you that that was probably the most difficult thing in adjusting to a new life around these here parts. First of all, ya don't get many Brits in this fly-over-state, so when he has to say something, or ask for something, say at a store, he always has to say it twice, because the first time, they are only hearing the accent, not the actual words. Secondly, they only listen to the accent!!!!!
Now, this can come in pretty handy for him, we've come to learn, especially when requesting something from a female (or a 'light in his loafers' male). For example, he needed to request some medical records from his visit to the emergency room a couple of years ago. He asked me if I would call to get what he needed... I was busy pulling gum out of someone's hair or mud from ear canals or something else freakishly weird... so he had to do it himself. Now, I *know* how Medical Records departments work around here... had I called, I would have been told that he would have to come in, sign a release and pay a nominal fee to have said documents couriered to where ever it was they needed to go. Period... no ifs, ands or buts... He calls and some sweet Southern Belle, no doubt mesmerized by his 'sexy' accent proceeds to tell him that it'll be no problem... she'll get right on it... he didn't have to go in... didn't have to pay a dime... didn't even have to sit on hold. Done. The very next day, no less. Sheesh. Although, we've come to use this to our advantage and know when to toss that sexy accent around to get what we want!!!
Ok... so where was I going with this... today, as he was chatting to his oldest son on IM, he was told that 'Nanny said I need to talk to you'... uh-oh... you can read all about Steve's reaction here, but I'll go on with my version, anyway... Eldest son proceeds to tell him that Nanny (Steve's Mom, or Mum, as the Brits would say) thinks he has put on quite a bit of weight since he has been here (a little over two years now). Steve and I think this is quite funny, since we have both been keeping an eye on our ever decreasing waist lines recently (I'm down thirty pounds!!!). Steve, who is six foot tall, came to the States weighing in at 196 which wasn't heavy for him at all. He weighed in at a whopping 174 this morning, a weight he says he hasn't been at since he was about 30. Again... irony!!!
So, Steve phones his Mum a little while later to inquire as to the pudgy comments apparently directed at him from 5000 miles away. He can't get through the conversation before he hands the phone to me. I swear, she could barely stop laughing long enough to tell me that in the Christmas card we sent (it had the pic of all of us - the one on my blog) his face was looking quite round!!! At this point, I'm burst out in laughter, because one, it just sounds so adorable, this proper English woman giggling and telling me her son looks a bit round, and two, well, it was just funny!!!!! Through my laughter, I try to tell her that maybe it's just because he didn't have any hair (he decided to start having me shave him bald last summer - 112 degree temps will do that to a guy!!)... and I promise her that the shorts he bought during his first summer here can't even be held up with a belt these days. Then, through her screeching wails, she blurts out, "Yes, he was looking quite GINORMOUS!!!"
I have never in my life heard that word, ginormous, let alone applied to my husband, who's nickname is Twig. Needless to say, the laughter continued for several more minutes until I could finally compose my self, as did she, and let him resume the conversation with his Mum.
It was great to hear her voice :) I miss them... they are wonderful people. *And* what wonderful ammo and name-calling I've put in my back pocket when Steve starts misbehaving!!!
May 31, 2007
a copy-cat post
with apologies to Tom & Joe...
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May 30, 2007
Tomorrow
Tomorrow is the last day of school for my two older kids. The last day of 2nd grade for Mac... the last day of Kindergarten for Mic. The Diva starts pre-k next year (please, take a moment to say a prayer, mantra, whatever you like, for her teacher-to-be... she's gonna need it!)
I'm so very proud of my kids. They both will have awards assemblies tomorrow... and if all of the stars are aligned just right with the planets, I will be able to attend both.
Mic is stoked, thinking he is going to get a perfect attendance award (not sure about that one... but, I'll go with him on it for now).
Mac... this story is quite cute... they had a reading 'contest' of a sort. For reading a certain number of books (I can't recall the number, off hand), they get ice cream (they are combining an ice cream sundae party with their awards assembly). For five more books, they get toppings. For five *more* books, they get to add cookies. And, finally, for five *more*, they get to pick a prize from the treasure chest. Before school today, Mac had her cookies and set out today to earn the surprise. Guess what??? She got it!!! We'll find out tomorrow what it is :)
Mac keeps offering to share her sundae with me... Mic is promising to show me a good time in his classroom tomorrow. I've done something right :) It warms my heart to see such giving children whom (my apologies to the grammar police... I'm too lazy to look it up) are a product of us :)
Oh, and lest I forget The Diva... she only got out of bed *12* times tonight to tell me she loves me / get a kiss / get a hug / give a kiss / give a hug. Monster!
I'm sure I'll have plenty of pics to share tomorrow.
Until then... good night!
I'm so very proud of my kids. They both will have awards assemblies tomorrow... and if all of the stars are aligned just right with the planets, I will be able to attend both.
Mic is stoked, thinking he is going to get a perfect attendance award (not sure about that one... but, I'll go with him on it for now).
Mac... this story is quite cute... they had a reading 'contest' of a sort. For reading a certain number of books (I can't recall the number, off hand), they get ice cream (they are combining an ice cream sundae party with their awards assembly). For five more books, they get toppings. For five *more* books, they get to add cookies. And, finally, for five *more*, they get to pick a prize from the treasure chest. Before school today, Mac had her cookies and set out today to earn the surprise. Guess what??? She got it!!! We'll find out tomorrow what it is :)
Mac keeps offering to share her sundae with me... Mic is promising to show me a good time in his classroom tomorrow. I've done something right :) It warms my heart to see such giving children whom (my apologies to the grammar police... I'm too lazy to look it up) are a product of us :)
Oh, and lest I forget The Diva... she only got out of bed *12* times tonight to tell me she loves me / get a kiss / get a hug / give a kiss / give a hug. Monster!
I'm sure I'll have plenty of pics to share tomorrow.
Until then... good night!
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